The blog

Every post, newest first

Six posts. They were written over several years and put up in the order a reader needs them: the loss, then the midwife, then the dream, then the births, then two toddlers waiting for a sister.

Show:

Flat sea under a sky banded pink and blue.

8 min read

Karis, at dawn

Seventeen hours of labour, thirteen of them with no pain, and a watermelon eaten in the birthing pool.

A curtain hanging at a window, backlit by pale morning light.

7 min read

Why are you so worried?

A letter to God in the autumn of 2017, a pregnancy two days later, and a dream that asked me the question nobody had.

Close view of beige linen fabric in soft light.

6 min read

Why I chose a midwife

What I was actually offered at nine weeks pregnant, what I got, and what I would tell a friend who asked me the same question.

Dense fog lying over open ground, nothing visible through it.

9 min read

Nine weeks and three days

The summer there was no heartbeat, the three choices nobody should have to make, and the call ten days afterwards.

These were written at different times and put up in the order I would want a reader to meet them. If you are new here, begin with nine weeks and three days and read forward.